We cheered as overweight underlings
cheerfully bulldozed our
friendly neighbourhood madrassa
into the ground, chanting risible slogans
in grammatically correct English
and flowery French, and even one that
Flash Rash coined in ecclesiastical Latin.
We jeered the terrified monkeys
who swarmed out of the
collapsing structure - gimlet-eyed mullahs
sporting foreshortened shalvars, scanning
the heavens for the saving grace
of a deus ex machina - and cockeyed,
delinquent chhokras in two-toned
rubber flip-flops, trailing a weeping,
one-armed nancy boy, whose
uncapped noggin reeked of
mustard oil even at a distance.
We cheered cos we've read
all about the insidious motives
behind the promotion of these iniquitous
dens of vice, and how their continued existence
further sullies the tarnished image of
Muslims in a neomillenial world
infested with terror and darkness
and dogmatic fundo
mentalism (and how it affects
our hopes of obtaining visas
for countries worth visiting).
We cheered afterwards when
bleeding hearts decried the
abject plight of the grubby urchins
and proclaimed the end of
any hope they had of ever being educated.
Education? Sacre bleu, what kind of
education is it if it's an education
that ain't discharged up the fundament,
in a process of antibiosis, by the
empurpled illuminati of mondo primo?
I went to school in Bahawalpur, but graduated,
summa cum laudanum,
from Truth or Consequences Community College
in delatinofied New Mexico. Trust me,
I know
what I'm talking about: God made
man in his own blond,
blanched,
blue-eyed image. Who are you to
question His Motives or go against
His Will?
(minos - december 2006)
Something i wrote last year. People are telling me i'll have to eat these words now. But i won't, i swear i won't (at least not without significant quantities of ♪♪♪ Ahmed ki mango chutney ♪♪♪)
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