Call me pedantic, but am I the only one who sees the irony in staging the INDIAN Premier League in South Africa? Surely now that the new venue has been decided this megamegabuck event should be renamed. Perhaps something like the International Premier League (which, for one, would save significant amounts of money which would otherwise be spent on redesigning the logo) (not that cash is something the IPL syndicate is in any way short of).
On the other hand this move speaks volumes for the way in which globalisation has become an ineluctable part of the very fabric of 21st century life. In a virtual world, one becoming more and more so in virtually every way, what does it matter where any game is played. 99.97% (or thereabouts) of all viewers will be watching matches off-site, on tv sets and computer monitors. Hell, this could be the start of a new and wonderful chapter in sports marketing.
For example, the English Premier League, world's favourite league -- after the League of Notions [sic] -- could be played all year round. In fact, Dubai might be the perfect venue for the EPL during it's summer hiatus. This most anglophiliac of pseudocolonies would welcome EPL football stars and starlets alike with open arms, and the odd garland or two. Of course, the balmy, pleasantly humid atmosphere would do wonders for the tans of the more pigmentally challenged of the bootmeisters, while the proximity of sandy beaches must, i'm sure, be good for something (i'm just not quite sure what).
The matches might have to be restricted to 15 minutes or so (in light of the aforementioned atmosphere and the general shortening of attention spans). Perhaps 20 minutes would be better. We could then have a T20 of football. And on days when it gets warmer than usual, matches could simply consist of a 20-shot penalty shootout. Vah, whatte funne, as one LongBlackVeil might say.
But coming back to the now seemingly inaptly, if not downright ineptly named IPL, might i suggest that they also change the team names. Considering all the work that needs to be done to transport the event, i am taking the liberty of suggesting new names for the teams, to take some of the load off L. Modi and Co. so that they can concentrate on the logistics, et cetera:
1. Free State Firebrands
2. KwaZulu-Natal Kirpaans
3. Gauteng Game Beers
4. Durban Turbans
5. Blomfontein Bully Boys
6. Mpumalanga Pomelos
7. Limpopo Lungis
8. Pretorian Abdominal Guards
And, while we're on the subject, all those in favour of staging Baseball's World Series in Swat, say "aye".
Beam me up, Spotty.
kirkminos out!
30 comments:
The sponsors might have demanded their money back, if the tournament was not held, somewhere or the other.
:D
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Very loud AYE from here. Bleddy Amkreekans. calling it the World Series. Makes me want to choke something.
And, Go DURBAN TURBANS!!!!! Primarily because this is the only team whose name rolls off the tongue easily.
Adaab arz, Kinky Bhai. Nice to see you're back. Eccentric disappearances are all well and good just because you're an artist, but... Uff.
And thank you for kind mention. Although you have bestowed on me a very John Dunne-esque spelling for 'Funne.' In my oroginal and authentic version, I would say, "Whatte funs!" But this is much cooler. I shall now use the 'funne' version and use airquotes while saying it. Yay.
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
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