Vote for Pakistan Peepul Par-tree – it sways with the prevailing wind

Reading about the reactions of people following the triumphant but ultimately sad return of our very own prodigal prodigious daughter in the least, a parable suggests itself:

--------------------

Sometime in the not too distant future, the Pakistan cricket team had been suffering a slew of defeats, barely averaging one win per ten games played. The line-up was being chopped and changed constantly, captains appointed, discarded, re-appointed, and a revolving doorway had finally been installed at the office of the PCB cos they changed chairpersons so damned often.

Cricket being the national pastime, the media was up in arms, and public sentiment was at an all-time low.

The burning question of the day was, of course, what can we do to make our team winners again, or, at the very least rid ourselves of the shameful title of “minnows” which was increasingly being applied to the team?

Of the great team of the previous decade, only one man survived, Sahibzada Mohammed Khalid Khan Yusufzai, now in his late thirties. Despite having been a key member of the team for over 20 years, the Sahibzada had never been made captain. Naturally he felt that this was unfair, since everybody and their uncle’s dog had held the position. Nevertheless he remained silent, cos he didn’t want to experience the heartache of being formally turned down.

Into the team debuted one Nigel Gul Niazi, son of one of Pakistan’s greatest ever cricketers, Nawab Kamran Gul Niazi. At twenty, Nigel Gul was relatively mature for his debut. This was becuase his father, the illustrious Great Gul, was reluctant to allow his son to enter the fray without gaining the right physical and mental prowess required to excel in the highest form of the sport.

As it transpired, young Nigel Gul was, to put it mildly, a pathetic cricketer. His shot range was limited, shot selection poor, and he never averaged under 68 with the ball. He was, however, the son and heir of the magnificent Gul of yore. So six weeks after his debut, Nigel (who had studied for a while at the Slade School of Fine Art, and had spent a summer working for the Bujumbura office of reputed firm Batten, Barton, Durstine & Osborn as an apprentice typesetter – perfect experience for launching a campaign) decided to throw his hat into the captain’s ring – for the good of the game of course.

His minimalist campaign consisted of the slogan, “I am the son of Kamran Gul, therefore I deserve to be appointed captain of Pakistan,” splashed across banners and posters showing Gul Jr hooking a short pitched ball for eight (the ICC had been busy these past few years).

Within six days of the launch of the campaign, thirty-three million people had come out in cities, towns, villages and effluent nalas, demanding that Nigel be appointed captain, and on the seventh day the President of Pakistan (aka Patron in Chief of the PCB) capitulated, and introduced the lad as the new skipper of the team. The only proviso was that young Master Nigel would have to accept Sahibzada Yusufzai as his deputy. Which, of course, he did without protest.

The rest of course will be history in times to come, because naturally the fact that the boy was the son of the greatest cricketer of his time meant that he (and the nation as a whole) would triumph. Especially as he was able to convince the world at large that a full 33 million people had come out onto the streets in his support.

--------------------

With that soul-uplifting tale, my soul is so uplifted that i am leaving the house right bloody now to vote for PPP. Mohtarma Benazir Buttho is the daughter of Lategreat Shaheed Zulafkaar Ali Bhutto. Therefore I must vote for her. And so should you, and you, and you, if you have any self respect (or dreams).